Charlie Brooker – How To Report The News
This video from across the pond has nothing to do with the escort business, but it made me laugh and I hope it makes you laugh, too!
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category.
Phillies Fan Gets World Series Tickets, After All
But she still has a date in court. Read more at MyFoxOrlando.com…
Finkelstein Gets Free Tickets To Game
Online Ad, Solicitation Of Police Lead To Charges
Susan Finkelstein gets free World Series tickets from a radio station, just days after the Philadelphia woman is charged with offering sex for tickets.
Radio DJ Chio from Wired 96.5 confirmed to MyFoxPhilly that his station gave two tickets to Finkelstein and her husband for Game 3 in Philadelphia.
Chio also said that Finkelstein’s lawyer asserted that she is not guilty of prostitution and her arrest is the result of a misunderstanding with Bensalem, Pa., police.
Finkelstein tells Fox 29 she’s the biggest Phillies’ fan around with her favorite player being Jamie Moyer. She says she’d do almost anything for tickets to the World Series except offer sex in exchange for seats.
“The anger has really started to also grow along with a sense of absurdity of how widespread this has become,” says Finkelstein.
Phillies Fan World Series Tickets ‘Misunderstanding’
Was this Craigslist posting an offer for prostitution? Read it for yourself, below. I suppose that question will ultimately be answered by the Pennsylvania Courts System. Read more at NJ.com…
Female baseball fan booked for prostitution
By Alexander Zdan
A self-described “desperate blonde” was arrested after she attempted to trade sex for World Series tickets, police said. finkelstein.jpgFinkelstein
Susan Finkelstein, a 43-year-old Philadelphia woman, took out an ad on the website Craigslist declaring her wish for seats at the “Fall Classic.”
“Desperate Blonde Needs WS Tix,” the title of the ad read, according to police. Police who viewed the ad apparently believed Finkelstein went into foul territory when she described what she’d be willing to do for the tickets.
“Diehard Phillies fan – gorgeous tall buxom blonde – in desperate need of two World Series tickets,” the ad went on. “Price negotiable – I’m the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!”
Bensalem cops investigated. Police said Finkelstein offered to perform “various sex acts” on an undercover officer in exchange for the two seats.
Instead, Finkelstein was charged with soliciting prostitution, as well as other related offenses. She will be mailed a summons, police say, which will set a to-be-determined court date.
The Million Dollar Blowjob?
Well that just blows…my mind. Read more at We Are Austin…
Police: woman asked for $1 million for oral sex
Austin police say that a woman offered them oral sex during a sting operation and originally asked for a hefty price.
The Austin Police Department said two officers were driving around Southeast Austin early Saturday morning when they found a 38-year-old woman who said she was “working”.
One of the undercover officers asked Garcia if she would give him oral sex. He asked her how much and she said “I’ve been asking for one million, but no one has paid that yet.”
The officer then offered $25, which Garcia accepted. The officers then arrested her.
The Industry Has A Long Standing No Refunds Policy
Read the whole tale at The News & Advance…
Man accused of trying to get prostitution refund
by JOE MACENKA
Richmond police say a man who engaged the services of a prostitute resorted to force to get his money back because he was dissatisfied.
The man was charged yesterday with grand larceny.
Officers were called to the the areas in South Richmond shortly before 2 a.m. to investigate what was originally reported as a robbery.
According to police, a woman who is a known prostitute told officers that a man had paid her for sex but complained afterward that she did not satisfy him.
The man demanded a refund, and when she refused, an argument escalated to where the man forcibly grabbed her purse to retrieve his money, police said.
The prostitute was shaken but uninjured, police said.
Because she was considered a crime victim, the prostitute was not charged
74 Year Old Client Caught With His Pants Down
This poor slob was just out looking for love and got caught in an embarrassing situation. Read the whole story at This Is Bristol…
Bristol kerb crawler, 74, caught with trousers down
A 74-year-old Bristol man was caught with his pants down when police found him cavorting with a prostitute in his car.
The man had already been warned twice about driving around in the early hours in areas of St Paul’s where prostitutes were on the streets.
Yet he ignored the advice – and an Acceptable Behaviour Contact (ABC) he had signed a month before – by picking up a sex worker in Portland Square on June 5.
Bristol magistrates heard that when officers pulled up alongside the ex-soldier’s grey Toyota Yaris at about 3.30am, they saw a woman looking startled in his front passenger seat.
Giving evidence at his trial, PC Andrew Dino said he went to the driver’s window to ask him what he was up to, noticed his shorts were “down around his thighs”, and he was frantically trying to pull them back up. Meanwhile, a woman who was a known prostitute got out and walked off, wearing only a pink top and no underwear.
The man, a member of the exclusive Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC), said he was only in the area listening to the cricket and sport on the radio.
But he was convicted and fined for soliciting a woman for prostitution, in a way likely to cause nuisance or annoyance to people in the neighbourhood.
New HBO Series: ‘Hung’
It seems that the geniuses at HBO behind the new series ‘Hung’ have no idea that male prostitutes have a predominantly male clientele.
Oklahoma Working Girl barters for box of potato chips
Were they a case of Lay’s Chips? Read on at The Kentucky Post…
Police: Woman Accepts Snacks For Sex
A woman has been fined $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution charges after she was accused of accepting a box of chips for sex.
Police said they arrested a 36-year-old woman in southeast Oklahoma City after finding her in her car with a man who told officers he knew he could find a prostitute in the area.
She told officers the man said he didn’t have any money so she agreed to accept a $30 case of chips as payment.
The man was not charged and his name hasn’t been released.
The Shady Lady Ranch is hiring – men!
It looks like The Shady Lady Ranch brothel outside of Las Vegas is considering hiring men for the pleasure of women patrons. Well, the same idea flopped for Heidi Fleiss, so what could go wrong? Talk about a fundamental misunderstanding of what women want!
Be sure to read all of this very funny column by John L. Smith at The Las Vegas Review Journal…
Seeking 30- to 50-year-olds for a stud farm generates nothing but suspicion
by John L Smith
Unemployment is on the rise in Nevada, but The Shady Lady Ranch is hiring.
The diminutive brothel, between Beatty and Goldfield on U.S. Highway 95 about 150 miles from Las Vegas, appears to be doing its part to offset the flaccid job market. Madam Bobbi Davis says she’s prepared to start her first stud farm.
To that end, she sent me this e-mail from ShadyLadyRanch@starband.net: “The month of June The Shady Lady Ranch will start interviewing men to entertain women. We will be looking for men in their early 30s to mid-50s.”
Initially, I was flattered.
Halfway to Beatty I realized she wasn’t actually soliciting my application and had sent that e-mail to others. Talk about red-faced.
When I returned to the office, I called her at the ranch, which has no cows or horses but does offer three shady ladies.
Come on, Miss Bobbi, a stud farm?
Haven’t we heard this one before, several times in fact, from Heidi Fleiss?
“We really want to do this,” Davis says. “We’ve got a place we’ve been putting together. We should have it done in a month or so.”
But what will she name it?
Calling a stud farm “The Shady Lady” could give the employees a complex. Viagara Falls sends the wrong message, and “the Poynter Institute” is already taken.
While I remain skeptical, seeing as how inviting men to “apply” in person at a brothel could be perceived as a way of drumming up business for said establishment, Davis does have plenty of experience in the pleasure racket. By her count, she’s operated the Shady Lady more than 17 years. Before that she ran outcall services and massage parlors in California.
Man alleges that spurned masseuse got violent
It’s dangerous out there, guys. Read the whole story at CBS13.com…
Cops: Masseuse Attacks Man Who Refused Sex Offer
The manager of a Lodi massage parlor is behind bars accused of attacking a client who refused her offer of sex, according to Lodi police.
Police say the manager of Royal Day Spa threw rocks at a customer and the customer’s car after she claims he refused to pay.
But the customer, a 32-year-old man from Oregon, tells police the woman became angry when he refused her offer to perform a sex act. Police say the victim who was visiting friends in the area says he often gets massages to deal with pain from a gunshot wound he got while serving in the army in Iraq.
He claims that while getting his massage, the woman offered repeatedly to perform a sex act for $50. The victim says he decided to leave because she was “relentless”.
That’s when he claims, she followed him out demanding payment. When the victim refused, she allegedly threw a rock at his car and then at him hitting him in the chest.
The masseuse is charged with battery, vandalism and prostitution solicitation and has been placed on an immigration hold.
